Parents and coaches should strive to teach kids to advocate for themselves as an athlete, student and in life. Kids need to learn to work through things on their own when possible as these are incredibly important skills!
Parents
Too often when things aren’t going a kids way, a parent or another adult will step in to the situation to ‘help’ without giving the kid a chance to affect change for themself. What we must remember as a parent is that we won’t always be there to advocate for our children. If they don’t learn these skills at an early age and have the ability to practice them as they grow, how can we expect them to effectively advocate for themselves as an adult.
Practicing these skills as they develop is important because they won’t always get it right. Sometimes it’s hard to know the right way to approach these situations but the experiences gained through their development is how they learn. We should try to provide advice to our kids on how they may approach a conversation but it’s important that they execute it. Learning to be respectful and calm in emotional situations can be challenging but it is important.
With this said, sometimes as a parent you do need to step in. Check out Coaches Make a Difference for greater perspective.
Coaches
Coaches should promote their players to be their own advocate and when they do advocate for themselves, we should respect and help develop their efforts. Regardless of the situation, remember that what the athlete is doing in that moment is not only important to their long term development, it can also be a very difficult thing for a kid to do. Don’t stifle their effort, allow them to communicate as long as they can do it respectfully.
If the communication becomes disrespectful or emotional, it is prudent to stop the conversation and communicate that to the player. Allow them another opportunity as long as they can communicate in an effective manner. As the coach, you should communicate equally as effective and provide constructive feedback. A conversation doesn’t mean that anything necessarily changes but provide the player with the insight into what would initiate a change and continuously communicate progress or the lack thereof moving forward.
Athlete
The conversation is only the first step. Chances are, if you are having tough conversations with a coach, there is likely a reason and something that you need to do different. Don’t expect to be given anything! You will have to earn what you receive! if you’re going to start asking the questions though, be ready to put in the work. Ball to Life hopes that you do ask the questions if you have them. Don’t ever be afraid to want more, just be ready to work for it!
Learning to be your own self-advocate is an attribute that can help you become more self-confident, self-reliant and promote accountability. In life, we will always face obstacles, it’s how we confront and overcome those obstacles that will determine the success that we achieve or don’t achieve. Face every obstacle the Ball to Life way – head on and ready to put in the work! Go get ‘em!
BtL
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